Divorce and the Office of Deacon

Can a Divorced Man Be a Deacon?
1 Timothy 3:12
Sunday Night
February 12, 2012

Introduction:

At the Business Meeting in March we will vote yes or no to the following question, “Is there ever a time when a divorced man may serve as deacon at Ridglea Heights Baptist Church?” Tonight’s message is designed to give you the biblical insight you need to make this decision. Remember your decision should not be made on emotion, but on sound understanding of the Word of God.

Tremendous damage will be done to God’s church if the Bible says a divorced man cannot serve as deacon and we at Ridglea allow it. But equally, tremendous damage will be done to the Kingdom of God if the Bible teaches that there are some instances where a divorced man can serve and we refuse to allow him. We must not knowingly and willingly chose to disregard proper exegeses of scripture. We must be diligent and persistent as we determine the truth of God in this matter.

In 1 Corinthians 4:6, Paul reminds us that “we must not go beyond what is written” and in Revelation John says we must not “add to or take away” from God’s Word.

The One Woman Man

The first text we need to consider is 1 Timothy 3:12 which says, “Deacons must be husbands of one wife.” Some take this to mean they can have only one wife presently, some take it to mean no polygamy and some take it to mean only one wife ever.

One Wife Ever

This view would mean a man could be only married once and if his wife died and he remarried he would be ineligible to serve as a deacon. This cannot be so because scripture says that a man and a woman are to be united until death separates them. Paul make this clear in Romans 7 where he says after the death of a Husband the woman is free to remarry.

Polygamy

Polygamy is a man having more than one wife at the same time, like Jacob and Abraham. At first glance this may seem logical because of the English wording, “husbands of one wife.” However polygamy was not an issue in the Roman world at the time of Paul’s letter to Timothy. It was not an issue and therefore would not have been something to be addressed.

Aner-mia-gyne

Then what does husband of one wife mean? In the Greek, aner means several things: man, husband, fellow or sir. Mia means one and gyne means woman or wife. Most Greek scholars agree that the best translation is a one woman man. Now what is a one woman man? Jesus is always concerned with the heart. Remember what God said to Samuel about David, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) Jesus is always looking into the hearts of men. To Jesus a one woman man is a man who loves one woman and one woman alone. His heart is devoted to her 100%. As far as he is concerned there is no other woman who is capable of stealing his heart. He is a faithful provider, protector and leader. No man who cannot love his wife and provide for her as he leads and protects her is fit for the office of deacon.

Does the Bible permit divorce?

God is not a fan of divorce. In fact the NIV translates Malachi 2:16, “God hates divorce.” Divorce exists because of the hardness of a person’s heart.

Read text (Matthew 19:2-9)

The Pharisees were trying to put Jesus in a box and trap Him, but He would not have it. He explained that marriage is God’s design and that design is for one man and one woman until death separates them. The problem is people are sinful. So when a person commits adultery, divorce is permitted because of the hardness of people’s hearts. Therefore, if a man’s wife leaves him for another man he is permitted to divorce her and vice versa.

Does the Bible allow for remarriage?

One of the questions at hand for Paul and the Corinthian church is that of marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul instructs the people to stay in whatever situation they find themselves. If married stay married, if unmarried stay unmarried. Then he says if an unbeliever chooses to leave a believer, let them go and then he says it is best to stay unmarried. Then to those under distress (which applies to the divorced) he says:

• Therefore I consider this to be good because of the present distress: It is fine for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. (1 Corinthians 7:26-28)

There seem to be two biblical exceptions which allow believers to remarry: 1) when an unbeliever has abandoned a person of faith and 2) when a believer has a spouse who has committed adultery. There are some people who can function without remarrying and they should do so, but for those in one of the above situations who cannot live a sexually pure life they, “should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.” (1 Corinthians 7:9)

What about people who are divorced and remarry before they come to faith in Christ?

When a person comes to Christ he or she comes as a new creation.

• Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Their sins are washed away.

• As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. (Psalms 103:12)

Then God remembers them no more.

• “It is I who sweep away your transgressions for My own sake and remember your sins no more. (Isaiah 43:25)

At confession and repentance God removes guilt and deems the newly saved individual as redeemed.

• Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

All this means that as far as God and the church are concerned the divorce of an unbeliever is washed away at conversion and it no longer exists.

What will people say if the church has a divorced deacon?

Just as God has exercised grace to you and I for our previous sins, God freely extends grace to all those whom He chooses. “Our testimony” is not what is at stake here “God’s testimony” is what in on the line. The people of Ridglea must let God judge when He chooses and extend grace when He chooses. To extend God’s grace to some sins and not to others is hypocrisy and not acceptable to the holiness of God’s church. There are many men who are divorced that should not be considered for the office of deacon. But there are a few men who God considers eligible. The church must not eliminate those men because of what transpired many years ago in their past. If they are presently men after God’s own heart and are full of wisdom and the Spirit they should serve.

Our nature, here at Ridglea is this…We are a Church of broken people who have been through the junk of life. Someone once said to me, “I have a lot of junk in my trunk.” Well that is who we are, a people with a past. We are a forgiven and freed people and we attract people who need to be forgiven. To this is say praise the Lord! That makes us a Church who understands the grace of God and a Church who is diligently seeking the Holiness of God. 

In Conclusion

To sum up, there are three biblically approved situations where a man can be divorced and still be eligible to serve as a deacon. 1) In the case of his ex-wife’s adultery. 2) If his unbelieving wife has abandoned him and 3) if his divorce was before his coming to Christ.

I am God’s under-shepherd here at Ridglea. God holds me accountable to preach and teach His Word with the greatest accuracy that I am capable of. James 4:17 says, “It is sin for the person who knows to do good and doesn’t do it.” Therefore I would be sinful if I did not preach the text as God has revealed it to me.

It also needs to be noted that for a deacon who has been divorced to be allowed to serve at Ridglea is not something new. There have been and are deacons who have been divorced in the past who served with honor, character, wisdom, godliness and are Spirit filled. To now say they cannot is a change in our Church’s theology; a change that would violate scripture and a change which would grieve the Spirit of God.

God calls me to bring you along in your knowledge of scripture, not to beat you over the head with the Bible. Know that no matter how the church votes I will still continue to pastor and teach the Word of God as God reveals it to me. If you, as the church, are unable to see and understand these truths I will love you and wait patiently until the day that you can see more clearly. I love you and care deeply for you. May God lead us to do His will.